Why Feeling Lost Can be a Guide, Not a Failure
- Huy Ing Lay
- Jun 30
- 3 min read

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my 20s, it’s that feeling lost isn’t a failure, it’s a beginning. We live in a world that tells us we must have a plan, a passion, a polished path forward laid out like a red carpet to success. But what do we truly want? What stirs our hearts? And I know it is helpless to answer with “I don’t know,” but let’s be real, sometimes not everyone has an answer. And maybe we’re not supposed to have one right away.
Letting go of certainty and embracing the questions that guide us home
Not knowing is rarely celebrated. Society sees uncertainty as weakness. We’re expected to have a five-year plan, a passion, a well planned path, or a polished bio. There’s pressure to have it all figured out and to follow the path others expect. But the truth is, life rarely unfolds in a straight line. It often looks more like wandering through fog than following a map. And maybe that makes it more meaningful, more alive, more real and utterly human.

The detours, the quiet mornings where you feel like you’re drifting, the late nights filled with overthinking, the days when nothing makes sense. They're not interruptions to your journey; they are the journey. I've come to believe there's wisdom in not knowing. There's courage in questioning, in admitting when something that once fit perfectly now feels constricting. There's growth in sitting with uncertainty until it transforms from discomfort into clarity.
Having walked this path myself, I've learned that answers often come not by chasing them, but by listening to the quiet space between doubts, to the subtle pull of your intuition. The thing is, after all the noise fades, you'll likely find you've known what you wanted all along. You just needed the space and patience to hear yourself.
Feeling lost doesn’t always look dramatic, it can be very subtle like getting up each day without motivation, scrolling through your phone feeling empty, having too many choices but having no clarity. It’s pretending you have it together when inside you’re quietly unraveling, when inside you are scared to admit that “Yes, I actually don’t know what I am doing”. It’s smiling while wondering if this is who you really want to become.
The Hidden Gift in Being Lost

But there is potential in feeling lost. Because when everything falls apart or no longer makes sense, you're given a rare opportunity: the chance to ask, “What actually matters to me? What needs to change? What if I could begin again, not with what I should do, but with what I feel drawn to?”
Feeling lost can be a quiet, brave rebellion. Instead of running from discomfort, you allow it to guide you to something more real, more honest to you. It’s a signal that something deeper is awakening, calling for your attention. And the world may call this failure but I call it courage. To be lost is to choose honesty over pretending. It’s to pause, to reimagine, to allow life to remake you in ways you couldn’t plan. It’s how you grow into who you really are, rather than who you thought you should be.
So if you're feeling lost, whether you're in your 20s, 30s, or beyond - don't rush to fix it. Don't punish yourself for not having all the answers. Don’t shame yourself for not knowing. Let it be messy, unclear, uncertain because sometimes being lost is how we find the parts of ourselves we’ve forgotten. Have the courage to follow the faint trails, even when the destination isn't clear.
So wander freely, let the unanswered questions linger and embrace this imperfect journey. And know this: in the quiet space between who you were and who you're becoming, you're not lost at all. You're finding your way home.
Comments